Today I swept out the last bit of dirt, loaded up the last boxes and cleaning supplies and stood in an empty store.
Lots of memories. I could still see everything in my mind’s eye. It seemed like I was leaving far too soon. Less than 2 years I was in this space. I really loved being here. It was a perfect space for my store. It was really beautiful. As glad as I am to have more time to help my son, be home more often, and not have the pressures of a storefront – I was also incredibly sad I was leaving that part of my life behind.
I took one last picture, left the key on the counter, and closed the door.
It’s really kind of perfect that today is cloudy and rainy. It matches how I’m feeling. I dreaded coming home so I procrastinated a bit and went to Hobby Lobby to snoop around. I picked up coloring markers for my coloring books (I love them!) and supplies for a photo album. I have to find a creative outlet for this transition. It’s been good – and still is – but it hasn’t been super easy. I decided I should finally head home. With my Dunkin Donuts coffee in one hand and Hobby Lobby bags in the
It’s been good – and still is – but it hasn’t been super easy. I decided I should finally head home. With my Dunkin Donuts coffee in one hand and Hobby Lobby bags in the other, I trudged through the rain up to our 2nd-floor condo only to realize I had locked myself out! Bummer. (Ah well. What are you gonna do?).
A trip to my son’s school, a call to my parents, and a drive across town to my husband’s office, and an hour later I was able to find another key and get in and enjoy a couple of hours alone before time to pick up my son (he attends classes part-time at a private school) and our nightly routine of dinner and homework commences.
I’ve never been in this position before. Ever. Standing in my house, alone. I’m not at the store and I’m not doing a homeschool lesson. Sure, I have some work to do, like prepare for Friday’s homeschool lessons, grade a month’s work of tests and homework, work on my website, clean the kitchen, etc… but it doesn’t HAVE to be done right now and I’m not really in the mood. My husband is at work, my son at school, and I have nowhere to be. It is the strangest feeling.
I feel a little…lost.
I find I’m hesitant to think about my next steps. I need to. But I will give myself a day or two reflect and rest. Though it’s sad I also feel completely at peace. There is still no doubt I made the right decision. Down deep I’m really content.
Instead of frantically figuring out my next steps I want to take the time to FEEL the sadness and grief of closing the store before I pick up the next chapter in my life.
I don’t want to “wallow” in it, but I want to…remember. To close it out in my mind so I can properly let go and move forward. I want it to be a “good” goodbye.